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Thursday, February 9, 2012

Have you ever?

Have you ever narrowly escaped a disaster?

Did you say out loud "Whew! I will know better next time!"

Think about it; you are driving down the road, sleepy as hell, and realize you have actually nodded off behind the wheel. You sit up very straight all bright and perky and say, okay now I am so wide awake I will never fall asleep at the wheel again. I may never sleep again!

Oh how about that time you had more than one drink at the bar, and realized you were about to be pulled over for a breathalyzer along with everyone else who was happening by that spot in the road. You got away with it for one reason or another, and you said, "Okay, that was close. I will never do that again!"

Or here's one: you are in a bar in Halifax and suddenly realize that the very nice naval captain has managed to surround you with his officers who are in the process of escorting you to the ship, probably never to see the light of day for the whole journey back to Norway - oh wait probably that was not quite so common.

How about locking yourself out of your car? Your home? Ever done it? Do you have a back up plan?

See, here's the thing. I live in Paris where there is no such thing as a locksmith with real lock picking tools like we see in the movies and also in the hands of every locksmith in North America. If you are in Canada for example and lock your self out, you either use the key you have hidden under the plant (yes we all know it's there) or you call your spouse. Third choice is the locksmith and it is a very good choice. Without a doubt you will be sitting pretty in your home within minutes as if nothing ever happened.

The only time that didn't work for me was the time I needed to let my dogs out of my van for a pee. It was cold, so first I changed my jacket, put the leashes on the dogs, locked the doors with my jackets and keys inside... and had absolutely no way to unlock the doors.

Yes I broke a window. Yes it would have made an interesting video, me luring the dogs away from the window I needed to break so I didn't hurt one of them in the process.

And yes I swore I would never do such a stupid thing again.

Fast forward to Paris, where I locked myself out of my apartment a few months ago, called a non-locksmith who used his radiograph to not unlock my door and then offered to replace the locking mechanism for 650 Euros.

Now I would really never do it again.

Until last night.

Yup. I loaned my set of keys to my colleague at work so he could get back in the office building. That was around noon. The day progressed in its usual way, work, drinks after work, dinner after drinks, until at 11PM I reached into my purse to reassure myself that the keys I would never again leave behind were in fact where they belonged. Oops - guess I didn't get them back. Yes I was royally screwed.

As luck would have it, my friend Janice has a key to my place.But she wasn't answering her phone. Lucky again that we live in such a fab neighborhood I was able to track her down in our friendly bar up the street. One celebratory drink later I was safe and sound in my home.

And Boy, I will never - oh never mind...


  1. Great story!
    And yes, non of us will ever do it again.

  2. When I read "until last night" I thought, oh no! Thank goodness for Janice...and the local bar.

  3. :) Was laughing all the way... Especially how you tracked down your friend. You know your friend very well!

  4. She tracked me down quite easily. Good thing, too. Because I didn't hear my phone ring. Then we had a celebratory/relieving drink.

  5. Janice but now my key is with a less trustworthy person - me!


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